Dr. Kennedy O. Obohwemu
@penkup
Admin
Prominent Member
Joined: Oct 17, 2018
Last seen: Dec 18, 2022
Topics: 0 / Replies: 691
Reply
RE: How I shortened my sweet dreams

Needs thorough editing...

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: C'EST LA VIE 3

Plenty structural & grammatical blunders. For example: ...her seeming indifference towards me and everything I represents have always been a major...

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: KEY TO MY HEART

Lovely romantic piece... Not devoid of structural and grammatical errors though. E.g., in S3L6, the word 'is' should be 'it's'.

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: THE HEIR

S1L2: The word there should be 'grew', not 'grow'. Other structural and grammatical errors exist.

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: THE WOMAN WE WANT

Posted in wrong forum. S3L2: The phrase 'a history' should simply be 'history'.

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: THE RIGHTEOUS EVIL

A lot of fundamental issues. I'll mention the most obvious: S2L4: "...and blindings the sun" (That's wrong!) S2L5: "...marrying them into his lonely e...

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: Faulty four

Faulty structural and grammatical elements are evident throughout the piece. Should be edited. Consider splitting the piece into stanzas as well.

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: WELCOME TO OUR SOCIETY

Beautiful! ?? S5L1: The word there should be 'complaints', not 'complains' S62: Word should be 'there', not 'their'

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: ANARCHY

The structuring and grammatical elements in S2 are fundamentally flawed. Needs editing.

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: FUTILE FUTILITY

Why not split it into stanzas?

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: WHAT IS LIFE?

'Minion... Colostrum... You really should be more simplistic in your poetry... We offer this advice all the time.

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: quote

'Its' should be 'it's'.

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: CAST A STONE

A good parody of 'The adulterous woman' from biblical times... You need to be consistent with the use of tenses. Decide which you wish to use and stic...

6 years ago
Forum
Reply
RE: PRICE OF VENGEANCE

"how much does it hurt to be you?" Above shouldn't be a paragraph. Capitalisation should be looked into as well.

6 years ago
Forum
Page 30 / 47