Last seen: Dec 18, 2022
Reminds me of a movie I once watched... Hmmm...
You forgot to add your full name?
Well, what do we have here?
@Maverick, isn't it short enough?
A straightforward narrative devoid of any meaningful dialogue... Not bad, but could have been better.
Needs a lot of editing! Always begin the dialogue with double quotation marks (""), not single (''). "My eyes had an eyeful already..." Above statemen...
Needs a lot of editing!
Needs a lot of editing!
"...handing me over to my ten years old crush..." This is vague, ambiguous. Do you mean you've been crushing on the guy for 10 years or the guy himsel...
Should have been properly edited.
Predictable storyline, needed more twists and turns...
Storyline would benefit from more imagination and creativity.
Nice storyline. Punctuation & capitalisation errors are apparent, however.
You need to decide if you're sticking with present perfect or past perfect tense. You simply can't use both.