Last seen: Dec 18, 2022
Lovely! ??
It's beautiful! Would have been better in different stanzas...
You must include your full names. That's a basic rule! Who's Leeman?
I can feel you, brother. #NeverEnough
Stanzas should be organised in a more orderly pattern. A stanza can't have 5 lines and another 1 line, except you stick with this pattern throughout t...
S1L2: When my "Fat-Dad" has losses lost his weight, status and vigour. Similar errors are apparent throughout the piece.
Well done! S1L2: 'Side walk' should be 'sidewalk'. It's a single word.
Fantastic piece! Have you posted this somewhere else before?
Beautiful piece! However, you need to work on the basic grammatical elements, such as subject-verb agreement in sentence construction...
And 'heros' should be 'heroes'...
Nice poem. However, the subject-verb agreement is defective in virtually all stanzas.
Great men and 'others'... Who are the others? The 'not-so-great-men'?
Corporal punishment "is a form of punishment intended to cause physical pain on a person." Is this common knowledge? You should say so if you feel it ...
Not particularly suited for Children's Literature.
Wrong forum. You should click 'April 2019' first, then 'Week 1' before posting your entry. Critiques meant for contests should not be posted in the sa...