Dr. Kennedy O. Obohwemu
@penkup
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Prominent Member
Joined: Oct 17, 2018
Last seen: Dec 18, 2022
Topics: 0 / Replies: 691
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RE: THE DISASTER

Nice depiction of flooding...

6 years ago
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RE: REGRET

Touching! S1L3: I met you and fell for those dazzling smile Should be: I met you and fell for that dazzling smile Or: I met you and fell for those daz...

6 years ago
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RE: SINCE I FELL IN LOVE WITH A TAILOR

Can you make this more prosaic?

6 years ago
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RE: RUNNER

Not bad.

6 years ago
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RE: A BAD GOOD

You may need to paraphrase the wordings in the first paragraph.

6 years ago
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RE: A weird relationship

An interesting relationship...

6 years ago
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RE: DAYS WILL COME

Very nice! Correct these errors: S1L2: Your burning strenght (strength) S2L2: Let the flame grow wider that (than) earth's sphere

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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6 years ago
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RE: The Lizard

Be consistent with your use of rhyming schemes. Correct the following expressions: All lizard lies with their stomach, We can not detect which really ...

6 years ago
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RE: WHERE DO BROKEN DREAMS GO?

Great piece! However, your frequent deployment of inconsistent rhythm is worrisome.

6 years ago
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RE: How to succeed

Trying to paraphrase Zig Ziglar?

6 years ago
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RE: WRONG ACT

Too much dialogue in the opening paragraphs. The narrative is just as important as the dialogue.

6 years ago
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RE: RUNNER

Structural errors: 1. "Get in the vehicle Michael." My Dad shouted... Should be: "Get in the vehicle, Michael," my Dad shouted... 2. "I'm not going wi...

6 years ago
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RE: WORTHLESS?

You modified this post 4 days ago. You're not allowed to edit your submission after expiration of deadline (in this case, Monday, 12 midnight)!

6 years ago
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