LOVELY EVIL
I welcomed love with open arms,
Dined and tied the knot with her.
All I wanted was the freshness of love,
Its warmth to make me feel young again.
Two rings have I had
Worn around my fingers;
My new found love made it three,
Which made me feel like a king again.
Love performed miraculous evils in wedlock;
It changed light into darkness,
Sweetness took its opposite side,
And turned herself into hate.
My seven fruits from my first two rings
Went six feet into the ground in two weeks,
Just after I became threescore.
Alas! What was my offence?
Karma had crawled in,
Visiting my past offences.
I had executed the hen who bore the evil chick
When I was a youth.
Evil visited me,
Fed me with blind love.
My two rings joined their fruits at home,
Leaving me behind.
Alone I am;
Tears difficult to shed.
Love has absconded;
Stroke is my lover.
Victor Apata
©Vikjtaar
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A Review of "Lovely Evil" by Victor Apata.
The personae of this poem becomes a recipient of the evil sewn during the personae's youthful days.
The personae on adding a wife to his harem (which comprises of two women) desires to be youthful again, he remarks thus: " All I wanted was the freshness of/love". For a 60 old, it is a usual response. Speculatively, the women the personae married during the personae's youth are agemates with the personae, the result of this is that the pleasure the personae got from them does no longer bring satisfaction. The personae's need for a young blood, however, brings his doom.
On getting married, what the personae expecs does not materialize, instead of happiness, the personae found pain, the person remarks thus: "Love performed miraculous evils in wedlock/ ... Sweetness took its opposite side ..."
If emotional pain was the only proceed from the marriage, one would call it mild. The personae lost 6 of his children in the process and also his wives (both of them). To crown it up, his young wife leaves leaving him with a severe medical condition ("stroke").
The personae attributes "Karma" to be the being behind the misfortunes. "Karma" seems to be punishing the personae for something the personae did in the personae's prime: "Karma has crawled in,/ Visiting my past offence?"
The subject matter of the poem is vengeance. The themes include: pleasure, death, pain, mistake.
Recommendations:
In line 5, the construction "Two rings have I had" does not ably communicate the intended meaning of the poet. "I have two rings" is a better sentence.
In line 13, the word "first" in that line makes it seem as though the personae has second and maybe third "two rings". "first" should be deleted.
Lawal Eneye.