Yours In Love

Hello deer,

How is yours doing? I hope you is doing very fine. I want to tell you that everyday I always thoughting about you. Anytime I checking back like this, you are always at the front of my back and at the back of my front. My head is turnioniown and my heart is are doing jigi jigi gbam gbam. Only you can stable my body. I love you very much. My love for you is too much that sontines I wee be thinking I am mading. Since when I have saw you like this, my sleep have not sweeting again. Everyday I will go and be dreaming and thoughting about your thought. Do you know Tha one day that have long like this I have thinking so much about you that you and me go to Amerika to eat ice cream and shikin. Another day again again, you come to my sleep and the two both of us kisses ourself and getted marriage. I want to marry you and I want you to marry me back because my Mummy use to say it take two to tingo because only me cannot marry myself and only you can help me to marry myself. I am expected your reply. Please put goody goody words plenty in your letter too.

Your gehfren
Abike

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Hey Abike,

I'm glad to have received your heartfelt letter. First of all, it is dear and not deer—I'm not an animal. Thought is a past tense and if you want our love to be continuous, then you don't need ing in a past tense. I would appreciate if you check on me without getting confused whether I'm at the front or at the back. I would have “stable” your body, but you're not a horse, my dear.

I would have visited you in your dreams and taken you to America for the chicken but then your verbs and tenses sentenced me to life imprisonment—with hard labour. It takes two to tango, let me tell you how I feel about you.

I saw you from across the dark lamps on the paved streets. With the little courage left from the freezing harmattan cold, I laid my words bare in front of you,
only to realise the words fell upon deaf ears—literally you are deaf!

Upon receiving your letter, I realise that love makes you do things you've never done—things like pouring your heart on paper with paralysed handwriting and injured tenses. I'd have loved to be your doctor of words, the one to suture each crack in your love letter. But my only wish is for you to hear the symphony of love, so that you might never tell me to quit loving you.

Yours In Love,
Olamide

— Olatunde Fadhilah Ololade ( Mubarakah)
—Abdulhameed Ridwan O (Cranium X)