"Stupid man!", the lawyer said as he twisted the steering wheel to one side, and sent the car into a sharp swerve to avoid, narrowly, an okada that drove in front of the car at the last moment.
"Waka!", his partner in the front seat spat out as they passed the okada, it's driver saying some angry words of his own.
Both men were in tailored suits, coming back from court. Their intern sat in the back, with awkward glasses and an oversized wool sweater over his white shirt and tie. The wind was brisk and cold in the morning, but now they were all sweating, slowly baking under the merciless heat.
"These Hausa people, they're the problem with this country", the lawyer fumed. "Useless people, lazy good-for-nothings."
His partner's head bobbed up and down in agreement.
"I agree with you oga. They're senseless."
They drove on, talking about their day in court, and the documents they were going to file.
When they got to the court, they went into the Registrar's office. Thirty minutes later, they came out, and were faced with a tall, sinewy judge with stark, sharp cheekbones. He was tugging off his suit and tie, and his gently bulging belly was just visible under his shirt.
"Ah! Your Honour!", the lawyer and his partner greeted, bending knees clumsily in a curtsy. The judge shot out his hand and shook the lawyers. He acknowledged the intern who hovered like a shadow with a nod of his head.
They started talking.
"Do you know Nnamdi?", the judge asked after some time.
"Yes, Your Honour", the partner said. "He's the magistrate that presides over the other courtroom."
"Correct", the judge said. "You know EFCC arrested him on Saturday for taking bribes and other things?"
"Are you serious? Hon. Nnamdi? You don't mean it", the lawyer said, incredulous.
"I do, Gbenga", the judge said. His Hausa tongue mangled the name.
"He was arrested", he continued. "You see Igbos, they're the problem with these country. Liars and cheaters, the lot of them. They're useless!".
The lawyer's head bobbed up and down in agreement, a wry grin on his face.
Behind him, the partner's face was stony, and the veins in his neck pulsed. He didn't grin. He was Igbo. And the lawyer knew it.
By Precious Oluwatobi Emmanuel
#ANSAShortStoryContest
A lot of punctuation errors are evident in this piece.
"Stupid man!", the lawyer said as he twisted the steering wheel to one side...
This should be:
"Stupid man!" The lawyer was fuming as he steered the wheel to one side...
Note the difference in use of punctuations in both scenarios. Note also the narrative that followed.
You shouldn't use more than one punctuation in your quote. If it's an exclamation mark, you don't need to add a comma.
Consider this also:
"I agree with you oga..."
This should be:
"I agree with you, Oga..."
Note the comma after 'you', and the use of a capital letter in 'Oga'.