NO LONGER AT EASE

I visited the office of The Black Brothers next morning. Mr Lech received me warmly. He was a young man with shrewd, kindly eyes and a very dry manner. He sent for two tea cups and talked about my college in Socoto. We delved into books and poetry. 

"We talk you sometimes", Lech started. "We worry about your future. You know most of the black brothers, the Loew brothers too write in vernacular and the only place they can publish is the Pedally Press. And they must be careful what they write. Well, we wonder about you. You write in English and already touching things that should not be mentioned. See what I mean?

"Yes, I see. "

"Good. We argue between ourselves. You can become a teacher but even he will have to be careful of what he writes or he can just forget it". And someone says "If only he were white" and another says "Man's got no future as a colored". See, your poems have reached us. And we think think and talk about you ; we wonder and hope too''.

He sat up and his looks were changed now. "We hope, my friend, we all do hope. We know the path seem blur, probably unfair, but we hope. "

A boy brought the tea, Lech's mood changed. He talked about his home and struggles hilariously. I gave him new poems. He gave me little money.
" It is not much but a man wants to help.... "

The walk through the streets was lonely. I remembered Socoto and my mood changed. I had felt out of place there, most of what I craved and wanted to do had been 'Reserved For Whites Only'. There had been quizzes, libraries, sports and talent hunt, concerts, libraries and tea-rooms. They were out of bounds and they seem to amuse me. I was denied!

I had wanted Anne: her own tag was indirect, I had the feeling she wouldn't last and probably invested a minute amount of love in her but I remember her everytime. Maybe because I take these walks alone now but one fact is, no one had seem to better Anne. No girl I've met!

I drifted into Sixth Villa and into Jacob's. I had no money so I slept in the office of the Freedom Group. I hardly spent a night there alone, lots of children who left the cold cuddles of home stay there. I didn't flee from home tho, but I had to free Mum, Linda, Sally and of course the two year old Bam. Plus, they see me as educated. I was not fit into their thing anymore. I cherish the white now - I laughed at that thought. If the white were one man, I would have driven life off him and burn his lifeless body.

These things that scared me out of Socoto have crept in here too, my home. We'll give a fight here and I'll lead it.

©Aj Maverick
Alabi Muheez Ajibola
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