WRONG TURN
The rays of the sun crept into his room through a little opening in his curtain. The window panes formed black thick lines on the wall, making the beautiful portrait of Tom temporarily grotesque. He rolled from end to end of his high bed, a moved he has mastered perfectly. The last of the moves that brings him to life every morning.
His phone rang. He picked
"Hello, yes it's me, Daniels Tommy H. You mean next week? No, no, no! This can't be! "
He dropped the phone, it was the company with which Susan had used Tommy's properties as collateral for a whooping loan of 80 million naira. Tears rushed down his eyes, he went against his mum, claiming she was an enemy to his progress. Now, the woman he defended of the two most precious women in his life had duped him and absconded. He faced the board in the company he works with last week, as his fate will be decided this week after he was alleged with laundering of the company's money, this another handiwork of Susan's.
He was puzzled about which to solve first. His face was red and watery. Tears were dropping from his eyes and going into his mouth. His blue shirt was wet like he had a bathe with it.
"Oh no! Mum forgive me. I have lost you, I lost home and now I've lost my life"
He went in and took some gulps of the liquid in a white round bottle.
"I should get some sleep"
*********
Femi stepped in the house to break the good news. A beautiful woman was caught with the files of a top company with a forged signature of the Manager. She also confessed to some other big crimes. Femi was glad, the culprit has been caught. "Tom must be happy now, Susan was such a devil! "
He knocked on the door repeatedly, he received no answers. He forced his way in and met Tom in an absurd position, his head down on his tiled floor and the rest of his body lay on the bed.
"Tom! Tom! Get up man! " he screamed. He sensed he was cold, he checked his breathe and he felt nothing.
"Tom is dead! " He fainted.
©AjMaverick
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am3mm10@ptsolest
Tense usage is rather poor. You started with the past participle, so you must stick with it.
'He rolled from end to end of his high bed, a moved he has mastered perfectly. The last of the moves that brings him to life every morning.' ('moved' should be 'move'; 'has' should be 'had'; 'brings' should be 'brought').