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My Pure Garden

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(@yusuf-muyibat)
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Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 85
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My Pure Garden

It was on a broad day light,
The day the robber invade,
My eyes were as pure as snow, revealing the innocence of my heart,
I knew nothing of robbery, I think it was a play like he said,
But the whole of me was took, that day shut me off the light.

He is my uncle, my supposed armour,
I was fund of him, my parents trusted him,
He asked me not to tell for it was a favour,
I obliged and promised him in a whim.

I was just 5, a sprouting seed, fragile and young,
I felt his hand ceasing my thigh,
As he do he sang me a song,
'It was a play' I reechoed as I sat.

Faster than the speed of light,
My mission in life was murdered,
His big body fell on me, my little body ache,
He defiled my pure garden,
Like drop of run in the sunlight, blood drip down.

My shout brought neighbours, but my breath couldn't last long,
I wanted to be lot of things,
But he denied me my life treasure,
I vanished with the air as my soul join with the passing wave,
I was ignorant, yes he betrayed the young.

©Yusuf Muyibat Avosuahi
#Ansapoetoftheweekcontest


   
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(@penkup)
Prominent Member Admin
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 862
 

You still have issues with tense usage.

Let's consider S1L1:

It was broad daylight (not a broad day light),

The day the robber invaded (not invade),

My eyes were as pure as snow,

Revealing the innocence of my heart,

I knew nothing of robbery,

I think it was a play like he said,

But the whole of me was taken (not took),

The darkness engulfed my soul.

 


   
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