Her teary face
always hidden
To all , she says
she's golden.
Everyday
she takes pictures
to cover the heartbreak
and mind seizures.
A show of swollen eyes - hmmm
"Bianca ! Bianca !"
She falls in fast - boom !
She comes out without her scars.
How did she do it?
Just in that while
she was in pains , battling it.
moments later ,all is gone in a trice.
Everyday
she had worn that mask - of forced happiness.
Yesterday
it tore in pieces, out stepped salience.
One sip from that cup and all was done,
silence reigned.
"Bianca ! Bianca!" But she was gone.
The people wailed and dispersed - Silence again.
©Alabi Muheez Ajibola
am3mm10@ptsolest
CRITIQUE ON MASK
The poem, 'Mask' was written by Alabi Muheez Ajibola.
The poem tells of a girl, Bianca, who doesn't look transparent for all to see her pain. Behind her feigned bustleness is a pain untold, yet she suffers.
Lines 1-8 give a picture of the poet's intention to paint the girl's world of pain, which he successfully did.
Lines 9-16 show she has silent cries, privately. Moments later, she goes out feigning a happy look. Hence, the title of the poem, "Mask."
A question is asked in line 13: "How did she do it?"
She has been hiding her pain daily, but soon the mask is uncovered, now noticeable; the reason the word, "Salience" comes in place. The poet goes on to tell she committed suicide in line 22. The people gather to mourn her and went their way.
The poet's arrangement of the poem is not well constructed. The first four lines could thus be:
*Her teary face always hidden;*
*To all, she says she's golden.*
The poet should however watch his use of punctuation. And the word *Hmmm* should be Hmm (not more than two m's).
Overall, the poem, 'Mask' is a wonderful piece, that which we see happen in the world today.
© Victor Apata