Marvelous Adventure
Below the beautiful smile of the moon
Beneath the twinkling light of the stars
Lies the things we kept from the sun
The joy and love that makes our hearts rise
The things that usually spark when I'm in your arms
The journeys I embark on just sitting by your side.
There is a talk of the body as our lips intertwine
There is a drip from our rare as we touch those part
The urge for more rise and seize to end
Our heartbeats felt like rain in the sun's light
Again I'm at your mercy so I plea for a nice ride
Where there won't be rules we need to abide
Oh king of my marvelous adventure!
Don't hesitate to plunk at those leaves
I am drowning, please save this creature
There is a magic about how you cease
The mark you give my thighs like a signature
Is causing a rapid flow from the river of life
I will admit I've loosen myself
To your raw wall where comfort lies
I will be ready to meet at the cliff
Though this won't happen for it's a never ending bliss
Tonight sanity flew away like a dove
Well this is welcomed for we don't need its like.
Let our voices mix with the quiet night
As we see each other straight and bright
Every day comes like what I've never felt
A honey pill you threw into my part
Now I'm intoxicated and full of delight
Don't stop, let's call the end a start
©Yusuf Muyibat Avosuahi
#Ansapoetoftheweekcontest
The poet carefully painted a picture of two passionate lovers who have their soul and body passionately intertwined. She was able to create a clear mental picture of her characters in the minds of her readers with her detailed description and use of figures of speech.
However, the use of the word cease' in line sixteen ('there is a magic about how you cease') is inappropriate. It should have been 'caress'.
Also, the poet didn't use her punctuation marks correctly.
The line 'our heartbeat felt like rain in the Sun's light' leaves us trying to figure out what a rain in the Sun's light FEELS like and what the poet meant.
In a nutshell, 'Marvellous Adventure' is a poem that shows a passionate lover who has yielded so much to his/her partner.
CHIBUNDU JOYCE
