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GOING SOON

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(@victor)
Member Customer
Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 16
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GOING SOON

There is an ocean behind the doors of my eyes,
Which I try not to open in your presence.
I am like a tree with no nutrient,
Dying day by day.

Behind my smile is a thought
That travels a thousand miles
To the world of deep sadness.
In my heart, I bleed.

At the breaking of a new day,
I cry a river in bed,
Knowing I'd soon be gone.
Oh, blood cancer!

I will remain tight-lipped
Until the day of my death,
Where I shall look to give up the ghost
In your arms,
Dear lover.

No one loves me the way you do,
Yet I hide this away from you.
It isn't my fault;
I just want to feel loved before my death.

©Vikjtaar
Victor Apata

#ANSAPoetOfTheWeekContest

 

 


   
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(@penkup)
Prominent Member Admin
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 862
 

Good use of imagery, especially in S1-S3. The tempo reduced in S4 and S5. It would have been better to use symbolisms to depict the ailment which is the subject of the piece. The picture is altogether appealing, but could have been better. 


   
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