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NIGHTMARE

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 Wada
(@wada)
Member Customer
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 12
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LONG NIGHT
She made countless turns on her bed as she sobs bitterly, how do you feel to watch what you devotedly gave your all to fall right in front of you? She picked her phone to call him, asked him her default and why he had to treat her this way, or better still,beg him to give her sometime; some time, like a notice to enable her plan and prepare well, time, so that she can Learn the act of halting bleeding heart. But he won't pick her call nor return her sent messages, she was so sure she was going to die that night. The cold harmattan weather could not stop her sweat, her purse rate increased drastically and she could feel the suffocation from within. "What have I done to deserve this", she wail and lamented. She had criticized people who had committed suicide but now she feel like ending her own life to put a consoling stop to this anguish.
Like been kept in-between the devil and the deep blue Sea, she questioned, "how can it be over when we have sail in this ship for long?
Is he wicked to have drop me in the middle of this hungry Sea? How will I survive it here?
She tried to to Stand up and lifelessly she fell back on her bed, she wished she could walk to the kitchen for a knife or detergent to end it all but she seems glued to the bed, the same be bed on which it's pillow had been soaked with her river tears. If she can survive this long night, she can survive anything.

NeatPen?
WadaFrancis


   
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(@penkup)
Prominent Member Admin
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 862
 

Typos, poor paragraphing, subject-verb disagreement... Try work on these issues.


   
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(@penkup)
Prominent Member Admin
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 862
 

And which contest category is it? Flash fiction? Short story?


   
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