People often find it absurd that dictionaries try to define love. They say, love is a universal emotion and feeling and so a distinguished set of people cannot place a definition on it from their own perspective. That school of thought is often argued on, although, one universal truth is that Teenagers do not know what love is. Everyone except teenagers accept this fact, this is because it is believed that teenagers are too young to know what's best for them, who's best for them and what it means to be in love.
So if you're a teenager, probably in secondary school or an undergraduate, and you feel you've discovered love and solace in someone, here's this piece for you, to show you how to not fall in love.
First is maturity. For love to be strong, it has to be mature, not in the sense that "love" itself has to be mature, just the people in it. When immature people get into a relationship, it often becomes toxic as both of them don't know better, it may result to them feeding off each other insecurities, constant arguing or a love more physical than emotional. It is advisable to have a self check, see how you react to things, and also monitor how your significant other reacts to things, if it's without reason or logic, then love probably isn't for you at the moment.
Also, compatibility. Teenagers usually find lovers in school mates, this is because, they are forced to see each other five days a week, so they grow to enjoy each other's company, not of their choosing but because of the confined space they find themselves. They usually don't consider compatibility, whether they are right for each other, if they're both have the same ideology of life, religion, the less privileged, Politics etc. The saying opposites attract is old hat, it doesn't really apply in the current generation. People tend to love people they have a lot of things in common with, this way, activities or events that they are both involved in will keep the fire in their love burning. So again, if you're a teenager, involved with someone just because you both attend the same school, then probably love isn't for you right now.
Another thing to look out for is growth. I know this sounds obvious but it is actually the most important thing to look out for in a relationship, which most people take for granted. Teenagers who are in relationships don't see growth as insignificant because they think they are still young and have a long way to go before they would start making important decisions about their future, this is detrimental. If you notice that you and your significant other don't add to each other's growth, there is a lack of support and a neglect for development, then probably, love is not for you right now.
These things would probably seem as petty to a teenager lost in puppy love, but I hope they are an eye opener. It's the things that we do say, and how we react in a relationship that determines how well and far it'll go, so if we are Teenagers, adults or even the elderly, learn how to fall out of love when it's getting you nowhere.
©Maymunah Kadiri
#ANSANonFictionWriterOfTheWeekContest