RESOLUTIONS

Dear dairy,

All my life, I never felt I belonged but I knew I had to fight. Despite our humanity, we will always be animals. Survival instincts rule us and we're all part of the food chain. It was eat or be eaten and for so long, I was at the bottom of the food chain. Despite being at the bottom of this food chain, vulnerable to all, I still wasn't good enough. I was the carcass that even the vultures would not touch. Until recently. I started to fight, more for someone else than myself. I was fighting to be the girl my Adonis would desire. The girl he could, should and would love. I stood, but not for myself and that was my downfall. I didn't stand for my somebodiness. I didn't fight for who I was and what I believed in. I didn't fight to get to the top of the food chain. I was fighting to be the carcass so perfectly dressed that even predators, not just scavengers, would find me appealing. I was fighting, but to remain at the bottom of the food chain. Fighting to be everybody's resort. I don't know how I'm going to but I need to move on from that.

A little dignity. That's what I need and that's what I'm going to apply.

"Well hi Ruby." Jenny said with an obviously fake smile on her face. "Hi." I replied with the sweetest smile I could. "I was just wondering if you've been to the music room all day." She said. "No. I haven't. Why?" I asked. "Oh nothing. I just thought you'd go see Lemuel or some..." I interrupted before she finished her sentence. "I know you have an unknown level of idiocy, so, just so you understand, I'll say this slowly. I. Do. Not. Go. There. Because. Of. Lemuel." I punctuated every word with a step closer to her. "I go there because of the essence of the place. Music and it's mere presence rehabilitates me. Lemuel is just an added advantage." I deadpanned. Disarray crossed her features but she quickly covered it up with a scoff. "Uhm. Okay. That's how you've decided to fight? With English and your big fancy words?" She said trying to keep her smile in place. A smile that was faltering. " I...uh...I want to leave now." She stammered and only then did I realise that I had her between myself and the wall. My eyes roamed her body and I saw her trembling slightly. I bit back a smile and stepped out of the way. I watched her scramble away and headed to my own class.

I have decided to be a reflection of life and of people. A mirror. I refuse to be stepped on. Regardless of who it is. Yes! Even if it's Lemuel. I'm unapologetic about it.

I've started and it will go on. It doesn't end here tonight with me Pyjamas scribbling in a book. My reforms will be with me from now for as long as is necessary.

This Prince isn't considering Cinderella and so Cinderella will become her own Princess.

Erioluwadamiloju Shodayo(Brownie_Vocal)

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