UNCLE'S HEEL

'What if I had hit you with it? ' he growled, dropping the cudgel.
'Well, I'll... '
'You'll what?, retaliate? '
'No sir'

My uncle was such man. His jokes and seriousness comes simultaneously, you never know which to expect. His fluency in both the English and Yoruba seems to make him proud. He prevaricates although, one will find about half of his words useful and the other half, maybe not useless but not necessary.

'Come on in' he ordered, as he led the way to his room. I followed him leaving some distance between us lest I was caught unawares again. The last punch he threw was still effective as I had my left hand rubbing my neck almost every minute. That was where the last one hit. As if he listened to my thoughts, he looked back and smiled, seeing his long hands could not reach me even if he threw them. I smiled too, triumphantly.

'Did you register for JAMB? ' He asked. He was surprised at the reply I gave - nodding my head in disapproval.
'You don't mean that, do you? '
I remained silent, i had no answer.
'Pffft!, I'll call your mum now' he said.
He turned round as if he was looking for something, i wondered what it was until he brought out a pot, In it was the remnant of the jollof rice he or his wife cooked the previous day before or even more. He ate ravenously, belching and coughing at intervals and I wondered what he would have said if it were someone else. I managed to maintain orderliness lest I am disgraced by whom should be disgraced.
'Krank, krank! ' the pot sounded as he tried to get the remaining stuck rice from the pot, obviously the bottom was burnt. I covered my mouth lest my mouth unleashed a laughter, only children ate like this! - I thought . He looked at me severally and I, him.
'Sir? '
'I didn't call you' he answered, 'so you will tell your mum when you get home, you must obtain JAMB'
'Yes sir' I answered. Something reminded me that he mentioned earlier he was going to call my mum on that issue. Whatever reminded me was evil because, it would land me in uncle's big trouble if I mentioned it.
'Sir, this is your charger. James dropped it with me yesterday saying that you asked me to bring it here'
'Oh! Yes, that's true. '
'I'll be leaving now'
I bowed my head, a sign of respect but refused to lift it up properly. I shied from his gaze as I made for the door. Rattling against the door raised my head, i opened it and stormed out of the room.
'Physician, heal yourself! ' I shouted, taking to my heels.

Aj Maverick
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